Arriving in the night. Road weary.
The desert hills, a darker shade of black,
Seem to part as the lights blaze before us.
My breath catches. My eyes go wide.
Just left home.
All grown up.
Dating is so glamorous after high school.
Electricity disguised as romance. It all just looked bright to me.
Glitter, sparkles, Jack & Cokes for free…
Lonely cigarettes, now with company.
Baby blues full of great expectations.
First time playing my cards.
Love to play. Play to win.
Lose myself as the chips hit the floor.
Slanted windows at the Luxor.
The room turning sideways on me.
Falling into bed at 2 o’clock.
Hungry hands and lips.
Feeding frenzy.
First time I wondered if my ticket had a price.
Claw my way to a graceful deflection.
Bob and weave with a smile and a laugh.
Silently…seething…
Holding my breath to make space for him to redeem himself.
Questioning my worth, while touching up my eyes
And grabbing my fake ID.
The thing about Vegas is the bright lights blind you.
The loud music drowns out the thoughts best left muted.
The words best left unsaid.
Then…
That one afternoon when the music stopped,
The house of cards came crashing down.
Walk of shame…or strength?
High heels in hand.
Long road home in a beat up Ford…
Soliloquy on Imperfectionism 