Mermaid

I used to love the beach
Before my body was wrong
And strings attached.
Before expectations crowded the open shore.
Sandcastles.
The summer smell of sunscreen
And the sound of the ice cream truck
Making its merciful rounds on the hour.
“Mom! Mom! Can we get a treat?”
The days were long.
Outside from near dawn until the sun melted into night.
Shrieks and squeals
As we played in the surf.
The childhood sounds of energetic smiles.
Sand got in sandwiches
But we didn’t care.
It all tasted so good
Mixed together…
The salty ocean rivulets
Running down our sun kissed faces
And the crunch of the grains we could only get here.
Outdoor showers in the afternoon lulls.
Lovingly gathered seashells drying on the deck.
A few laughter-filled games of hide and seek,
Then time for the boardwalk
Where the lights shone bright,
And the music played.
The games beckoned.
Fun was a given.
And given simply.
No place for complex transactions,
A few tickets for a good time.
No trip was complete
Without the shore’s famous sweets.
The big machine hypnotically kneaded taffy
From little more than saltwater and sugar.
The first time I experienced alchemy.
But not the last…
I used to dream of being a mermaid,
Never bothered that I would be different
And have limitations.
I would be a mermaid!
Beautiful and free.
Floating and gliding,
Spinning and flipping to my heart’s content.
Weightless and wondrous.
Alight and alive out at sea.
Here on the shore,
The sandcastles crumble.
The tide turns and washes dreams back out to sea.
Maybe she will meet them there…
My mermaid soul.
Maybe she will hold them deep in her darkness,
Deep in the deep,
For safekeeping.
Nurture them,
Away from the crash of the waves
And the blades of the boats
And the harsh hands of humans.
Out beyond her jellyfish captors.
Out where the dolphins frolic.
As far as the pelican flies.
Out beyond the horizon that always beckons
And promises a new beginning.